After several years of caloric abuse, I decided that it was high time I did something about my increasingly large self. Namely, it occurred to me that while round is an appropriate shape for some things, basketballs, globes, donuts, tires, marbles and the like come to mind, it was not the preferred shape of a human being, unless of course you have the misfortune of being Tweedledee or Tweedledum.
So, for the fourth time in my life, I have launched the great quest for something approaching fitness. I've taken up swimming, and am trying to be more active in my day to day life, as well as (loosely) following weight-watchers program. So far, it's been a success, as I've dropped (as of this morning) 30 pounds since January 4th. But, believe it or not, as much as a sycophant as I want to be to myself (is that possible?), this isn't actually about me. It's about image, perception, and what we and others see in each other and ourselves. I just brought up the weight bit as an illustration.
Last night I was speaking with a fellow weight crusader, and she is quite concerned about her relative lack of loss. Now, my initial reaction to this is, she's being ludicrous. In my view, she is a little hottie, and while I'm sure if she rummaged around for awhile she could find a pound or a few ounces to drop here or there, it isn't as though she needs to. But here's the rub. Who cares what I think? It is about how SHE feels about it. You can tell her she's fine as much as you want, but if she doesn't feel good about it, that is what's important. And when I step back, that's crystal clear. I mean, I don't care if I ever look like Michael Phelps, in fact, I'd be perfectly happy with a Jim Belushi build, but that's me. There are assuredly any number of people that would think me a fat bastard even at that size, but I don't care. I'd be comfortable, and that is what is important. And if she said she's gushy in the middle and doesn't like it, then damn it she's gushy in the middle.
So the next time a friend of yours is complaining about being overweight, or having a big nose, or small boobs, or wants to lose that pesky 3rd arm, remember-it is their comfort and self-image that matters, not your vision of them. Don't argue with them, encourage them to do what they need to feel better and improve themselves in their own eyes.
Just sayin'
Hate to break it to you here friend, but some women (not the friend you mention, I'm sure) do make comments like these to get attention. I was guilty of this in my younger days and to this day use the same tactic with my Georgie-Poo when I feel he isn't being attentive enough. You could be right though, maybe your friends are just more mature than I. It is good of you to think the best in people. :)
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